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England's Hall

by

Michael Johnson

To be read by awl on Monday 29th November 2004

A sit-com, set mainly in England’s Hall, a mixed-sex residence for students, attached to a provincial university. The principal characters are the staff of the hall and those of the university who control the policy of the hall. Students are usually incidental, though they are usually in evidence and will play a major part in some episodes.

The name England is derived not from a love of or pride in that country, but from a local bookmaker, Percy England, who donated an insignificant proportion of his riches to the university to build the hall, with the proviso that it carried his name..

Dr Francis Marshall
An applicant for the post of Vice Warden
aged 40, but looks younger
BA and a PhD in Geography from Harvard
fit: works out in the gym and jogs regularly
Robin Miller
Mrs Hatchet
The Bursar
A professional hotelier of considerable experience
Carolyn Pertwee
Mario Sanchez
the Hall maintenance and odd-job man
Good-humoured, articulate, extremely well-educated
Chilean in origin, he comes from a very artistic background,
Paul Antony-Barber
Chang
The cook
Though Chinese in appearance, Chang is the fourth generation of his family to live in England
He can speak with an upper-class Etonian accent or in broken English as the situation pleases him
Simon Nuckley

Dr Highlife
The Senior Tutor
A good Shakespearean scholar
A regular visitor to a well-known house of ill-repute

Paul Antony-Barber
Janet
The Bursar’s assistant
Nineteen, inexperienced, man-crazy
Holly Berry
'Captain’ Forbes-Phillipps
Chief Security Officer
An ex-Lance Corporal with delusions of grandeur
Harold Saks
Mr Small
The Secretary of the University
Mr Small is large in stature, but small of mind. Lacking in talent, no sense of humour and even less common sense. A master of the irrelevant detail
Mike Goodenough
Miss Broody
neurotic female student
Teresa Jennings
Doreen Snoggins
Mr Small’s highly efficient secretary, charming and knowledgeable, .
Teresa Jennings
Septimus Trafford-Wise
Professor of Classics and Chairman of the Student Accommodation Committee
His mind is still rooted firmly in Ancient Greece, Rome, and Ephesus.
A confirmed bachelor
His speech is beautifully articulate.
Martin Wimbush
Miss Anthea Jones
Vice President of the students' union
An ardent feminist
Shorn head, with metallic appendages to, and tattoos on, many parts of her body
Holly Berry
Dr Mulcahy
Reader in Constitutional Law
An accomplished constitutional lawyer, he is one of the university’s jesters
A keen soccer fan
David Hampshire

Directed by

Gregory Cox

 

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